new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize