Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
