First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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