The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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