I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
