you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize