Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
