Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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