Dual....:-)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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