Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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