I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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