We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
