it hurts more in the daytime
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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