In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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