What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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