I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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