New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
