Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
