You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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