Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
