she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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