It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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