I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
