Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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