So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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