Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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