I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
