ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
