If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
