She's JV to your varsity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just pee around me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
