Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
