I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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