Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
