Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
