why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
