btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize