This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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