Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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