Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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