Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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