just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
