Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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