Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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