sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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