ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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