my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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