i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
