Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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