Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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