I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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