we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
