I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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