i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
