i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
