Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
