Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
