3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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