The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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