Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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