um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's rum buckets o'clock
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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