Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
love makes seman taste better
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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