When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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