His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
