I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize