Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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